Fontan - 7/9 7:30 am

Today was a little harder than I expected.  I have been trying to mentally prepare myself for this for a few weeks, but I guess this is something that doesn't get easier with time.  It seems to be quite the opposite. 

I think what I am struggling with is knowing what will happen tomorrow and I can't take that hurt away from my daughter.  Emma Kate comes to me to comfort her when she has a bad dream at night.  She comes to me to hold her when she is tired and wants to snuggle on the couch.  She comes to me to carry her when she is too tired to walk up the stairs.  And now, at the time when she is the weakest, I have to give her to someone else and trust them with her life.  I feel completely helpless. 

Let me be clear. I have full confidence that Emma Kate will get through this surgery and thrive as she has after her first two surgeries.  I believe that God has a distinct and perfect purpose for Emma Kate's life and has His hand wrapped firmly around her heart.  I believe that these miracle workers at Egleston are prepared and able to and will indeed do an amazing job tomorrow morning.  But I also know that Emma Kate will go through 5 hours of open heart surgery.  She will spend a few days in the intensive care unit with wires and tubes that will, at best be uncomfortable for her and, at worst, will cause her pain.  She will have her blood drawn numerous times and be woken up throughout the day and night by beeps and nurses and mommy and daddy checking on her.  That is why today has been hard.  I know what is ahead and can't protect her from it.  

All that said, Emma Kate did great today.  She got a little bored waiting around as different Dr.'s and nurses came by to explain the next few days and have us fill out paperwork.  She also didn't care too much for the lab work but bounced back quickly when all was done.  She asked Bethany if she could now walk up the stairs without getting tired.  I am so ready for that to be the case.  This evening, she was overtired and a little anxious.  She doesn't fully grasp what all is going on but knows something is going to happen tomorrow.  She was a little restless but finally snuggled with me and Bethany and is now passed out.  I pray she has sweet, restful dreams.

She will be the first case tomorrow, meaning we will be at the hospital at 6am.  She will get versed (princess juice as EK calls it) soon after we arrive to help make her sleepy.  They will take her back around 730 and hope to begin the procedure around 8.  If all goes well, she should be back in the ICU around 1pm and we will be able to see her around 2.

We have received numerous calls, texts, emails and facebook messages of encouragement and prayers and we are tremendously thankful for each one.  I feel selfish always asking for the prayers of others, some who have never met us, but still I plead for them.  I believe that Emma Kate is a result of the power of prayer and will always hold firm in that belief.  So if you would, please pray tomorrow morning for our Emma Kate.  Ask that God walk with our new surgeon, Dr. Alsoufi, and allow his hand to do the work he was trained for.  Ask that His presence fill the operating room so that peace and wisdom would abound.  I would also humbly ask that you pray for a peace that passes all understanding to cover me and Bethany as we sit and wait and wonder and pray.  Finally, pray fervently that Emma Kate will have the strength to endure this third surgery and that His comfort and healing would consume her these next few weeks.

We will update as we can tomorrow.  Thank you many many times over for lifting up our sweet girl.  She is our heart and our joy.