My Girls

The past week seems to be a blur in my head. A week ago this evening, I sat in the Cardiac ICU with a day old Emma Kate uncertain of her future. Not knowing when her surgery would be. Not knowing how it would turn out.

Now she lays here with only an internal heart line and IV's with medicine. No more breathing machine, chest tube or catheter. No more numbers for me to stare at and worry when one jumps or drops. She is close to just relying on me and Bethany. This is a little scary but we can't wait to have her as our own. She currently has a feeding tube through her nose and is getting her first bit of food as I write this. Hopefully her body will take this well and she can be bottle fed soon. We are just happy that after 8 days, she is actually getting food.

I am still cautious about her future, but she has been amazing. To say that life has been challenging the last few months would be an understatement. But the way she fights shows us nothing is impossible. I look at the scar on Emma Kate's chest that will forever be a part of her. It is a scar that some day she might be insecure about. I pray that she isn't. I pray that she is proud of it. Proud of a sign that forever tells her that she is stronger than most. Stronger than her daddy will ever be. Bethany and I keep calling her our little fighter. But that is too masculine a word for something as precious as she. There needs to be a new word for something so fragile yet so strong. Someone so new and innocent yet already a conqueror of death. The only words I can think of are Emma Kate. Her name speaks it perfectly to me.

Our other worry in all of this was how a 2 1/2 year old, strong-willed child would handle the separation from her best friend. Also, how her mommy would handle being away from her little princess. I am very proud to say that both are doing well! Anna Brooke went to Kiki and Lito's house yesterday and didn't cry for us once! I think she is truly enjoying being spoiled; first by nana and papa and now by kiki and lito. Bethany had a hard time waking up this morning without AB but knows this is a big important step for both of them. I am very blessed and proud of all of my girls!

I will try to update again soon, perhaps even from the step-down unit. Writing has been very therapeutic for me. Thank you all for sharing this journey with us and for your prayers and support. We all need each other. We still have a long road ahead but each step is making the next a little easier.